More Maine thoughts

More thoughts.. It feels good, to some extent, to sit here and reflect. I started from this place seven months ago, so nervous, creating this blog about moving to Oregon, and learning how to Bend. I left with high hopes. I couldn't wait to get out of this place. I was desperate. Well, what a summer it was. Newport, Bend, Eugene, and New York in the fall. But now I am back, seven months later. And I am just going to do the best I can. I have a better relationship with my parents - I think - for now anyway - that does seem to change quite frequently, lol. But they have been very supportive tonight. And that makes me feel good. It is what I wanted. So, I am just going to do the best I can. Que sera, sera. I am a little nervous right now because my dad has his music on loud. And I need to go to sleep early to get up for tomorow. But whatever. If thats the worst of it thats okay right? I will be creative. Okay. Well, quite a day today with that trip but I did it. I should be proud of myself. I did something difficult.

I was going to Falmouth Tues but really dont want to push it that far. Am afraid will go crazy with nothing to do here tomorrow. Dont want to lose my independence. Too many opportunities to get into conflict or get depressed by things here. Part of me does want to stay, but the other part of me says "you had a good evening with them, better quit while you're ahead," and that is the part I am going with. Anyway the decision is made so. I think I need to keep riding on that adrenaline anyway.

So. I will be okay. The plan is , I hope I can get to sleep and get seven hours of sleep. And feel somewhat rested. Normally after a long trip I would not attempt to do something diffficult the next day but doing nothing would be worse so , so be it. Yea. Be brave.

At 1, we will leave for Falmouth. I will be calm patient etc . Put all stuff in there. Talk to him. Then head to Portland. Walk around if nice out. Hope I am feeling well enough to. Shop at Whole Foods, see Rob for dinner, go back, hope I can sleep good and long tomorrow night. Walk by Town Landing and the ocean Tuesday I hope.

Worried about my back, but hopefully it will get better. I'll take the magnesium if it doesn't maybe? I don't know. I am out of magnesium need to get more. I have trisalts tho.
If it doesn't tomorrow then I need to be patient until it does.

I am worried about being able to tolerate the sheets to be able to sleep. I usually have trouble tolerating other people's sheets. But I need to, right? I was worried abou that before I came. Jus be patient, you can tolerate them, might take a few days to get used to them. But you will. Other idea is to maybe wash sheets I have or rewash these. Need laundry det. for that, hmm.
You can tolerate them. Just try to sleep for a few hours. Then get up and go see your beloved city, finish the job.

Worrying doesnt do any good but having a comfortable bed is very importanrt to me and I get very nervous worrying I won't. But worrying will do no good. I will find a way. I just need sheets I can tolerate.

If you don't feel good when you go to sleep , or when you wake up, be patient and know you will feel better later. You will find a way to get decent sleep. You will find away to feel good. Be patient.

And go to sleep because you had a long day and you deserve and ned it.

Okay, ned food, some more crackers, banana, rb, and bed

Need to remember all stuff in room, food in cabnet and fridge, other stuff on list, and be strong

Getting kidn of tired of thisd but is ok

Kate




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