I'll Huff and I'll Puff and I'll Blow Your House Down....

Well, isn't that what the three little pigs said about straw bale houses? Or am I mixing up my fairy tales? :)

I was about to meet a friend I had known online for about two years, in person. I was about to realize in person an idea and goal I had pursued in my mind and imagination for roughly two years. I was nervous. I realized I had little experience going to other people's houses.

As soon as I saw the cute little house, though - set out from the other houses in the congested neighborhood by its style, grace, down to earthness - I was calmed. The house looks beautiful, I thought. It's a straw bale house built to be completely non toxic for MCS people. I had been in contact with L about the possibility of renting it on and off for 2 yrs. Then it turned out I moved to Bend anyway, lol.

Inside it was a bit smaller than I had anticipated, but I soon adjusted. There really is only a small room that is a couch by day and bed by night, and a small kitchen, and bathroom. But it was homey, cheerful, and cozy just the same. The floors were concrete, everything was nontoxic, it was a good environment to be in.

We all sat around a small wooden table and ate salad, shrimp and pasta. I really liked both L and T quite a bit. I was particularly drawn to T. He reminded me of Luke from college. Gentle, funny, goofy, compassionate, caring,intelligent, light and easygoing - someone you can just relax around, someone who makes you smile inside the minute you meet him.
And L - she reminds me of my friend and reader of this blog Rachel (Hi Rachel!) from online. I've never met Rachel in person but I am awed by her spirit and by the person she so bravely allows us to get to know through her thought provoking blog.

L embodied grace, compassion, joy. The wisdom and spirit that comes from having lived through it all and learned from it, but retained your sense of joy and wonder at the world. She has a quiet wonder and joy about her that I love.

But what most impressed me about her is her willingness and ability to respect her sensory limits. She is able to step outside if the noise is getting to her too much, she is able to ask people to talk lower, she is able to do it with a smile on her face and a twinkle to her words. She accepts herself and her limits and it's a wonder and an inspiration as a person with so many sensory challenges myself to see a model of how you can graciously ask for accomodations for your sensory needs without seeming a party pooper.

It reminds me of Rachel because that is what she has been working so hard on - accepting herself and her limits and advocating for them and realizing that as she ages she needs to take better care of herself - and doing it wirth such grace.

L seemed like what I'd imagine Rachel would be like embodied in person- and that's a good thing! :)

Anyway we sat and talked for 2 hrs. I was given lots of space to jump in so I didnt feel shut out of the convo, I got to tell lots of stories. we talked about 60s music and various cities. about earlham and feminist seders and how depressing the midwest was. briefly about baltimore and missoula. She has an aunt in Hamilton she might visit at some point. Where was I. Oh, she went to Oberlin, I have to remember to ask more about that later. A nyway what else. I cant remmeber. I was afraid I was talking too much but I really just enjoy telling stories so much and they were such a receptive audience. It made me feel emotionally filled up to look at T and L's faces and bask in their receptiveness and their warmth, their openness and connecteness. It killed the loneliness for a couple hrs, which was great, but then it filled with a short lived kind of desperate loneliness just as we were about to go - the feeling I used to get when leaving Portland after having spent a fun filled day there - the feeling of having experienced soemthing so great that you can't possibly imagine having to leave it and live without it. But knowing you have to carry it with you and look forward to it when you are able to have it again.

We played 'Adrenaline Scrabble', which I didnt really have enough processing or brain ability to be able to learn.... well.... Tony was really good at teaching me but my brain just didnt want to go there. So I sat and got lost in thought about the night and rested while they played, and I didn't mind at all. I love hearing them laugh. I love their playfulness. I love their absolutely, 100% evident care for, respect for, and love
for each other. That was so touching. What a gift, what an absolute gift that kind of relationship would be.

Got to talk to her a few min alone but was too thirtsty to talk much lol Forgot ot bring mty water in I hope I get to see her again and hang out with her more.

Pretty out of it otnight. Bedtime soon.

Kate