Bradbury Mountain, Maine

Yes, I know it's been a while since I've posted here. Long story. Short version is:
I am no longer in New York; I am back in Maine.

Due to above fact, I decided to discontinue this blog; but had nowhere to put the writing I did today with the oh so pretty picture, so decided that it would make a comeback.

March 14, 2009

After spending a pleasant afternoon in downtown Brunswick, Maine, my two friends having gone bowling while I met with another friend for a lovely outdoor lunch at the Wild Oats Bakery, my friends and I stood on the deck of Wild Oats debating what we would do for the rest of the afternoon.

"Let's go to Wolfe's Neck," said my friend N."
"Or how about Bradbury? Would that be closer?" I said.
A discussion about which hiking area was closer ensued; R said they were probably about the same distance.
He wanted to try some place new; he hadn't been to Bradbury but had to Wolfe's Neck. I had memories of going to Bradbury as a child, but not for years and years, and thought it might be fun to go back; N had no opinion, so Bradbury it was.

I wouldn't have thought of it, except there was a sign for its exit on the highway on the way to Brunswick, which is what gave me the idea. And I was very glad for that afterwards!

I didn't know what to expect. I didn't remember *anything* about Bradbury other than it was a place we had gone years ago that I enjoyed. I didn't know if there would be any easy, mostly flat, can be done in half an hour or so trails. I figured we could just go, scope it out, start walking somewhere and turn around if we didn't like it. I certainly didn't expect what we found.

We got to the parking area. N was a bit nervous because it was a bit colder out than it had been before. I was a little apprehensive when I saw the snow. Oh yea, snow. Of course there would be snow in winter. Forgot that one little fact.

We didn't have any idea what trail to take or how to choose, so we took the one right in front of us. After a little, we saw a sign that said "Summit, one mile," so figured that we could manage a mile.

We trudged upwards, on a gently inclining slope, in an almost meditative, repetitive fashion. N in front; me in the middle; R behind. Step, step, step. There was a certain peacefulness to the repetition in steps; the crunching noise as our shoes hit the packed snow, the same stride repeated over and over again. We hit the half a mile sign and decided to keep going.
I wondered if we might actually get a view at the summit that the sign promised; but I doubted we would, on a trail this easy, only going up a mile. Maybe.

It wasn't until we were almost at the top that the memories came flooding back. That was when the excitement started. We got to the incline just before the top, and all of a sudden I knew. I didn't know for sure, but I had this feeling that there was something wonderful waiting for us just a few feet away. "Could it be?" I thought. "Am I imagining this?" I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had this image - of a beautiful mountain top, rocks, trees, a view - flash into my head. I didn't want to trust it. Maybe it wasn't the same place. But then I knew, I just knew this was the place I remembered from my youth. I ran the last few feet, and lo and behold!!! There was heaven right in front of us! THIS WAS THE RIGHT PLACE!

All of heaven spread out beyond us. Trees, trees, nothing but trillions of beautiful trees in the valley and landscape below us. A perfect rock formation - the kind you could picnic on, relax and read a book on, make a day of. Just big enough to feel safe but small enough to seriously feel like you were on top of the world, that you had the whole world to yourself. And the rocks! I couldn't see them, because most of them were buried under snow, but I knew they were there. I could see myself on them. I could see myself in my youth, scrambling here and there, so happy, so delighted, so enamoured of these rocks. I could see myself as a summer camper, brought here by a summer camp program, and remember my intense dissapointment when they wouldn't let me scramble on those rocks - it must have been ten years ago, but I still remember that.

I remembered picnics spent here with my family, could almost taste the peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches we must have had. I could see the backpacks splattered against the rocks, remembered how long the hike up here seemed to me as a child! I remembered my delight at such an amazing view. And I was so happy to have it all back again.

To stand up there and look at all those trees, at the world in front of you, is truly to feel like you're looking out on heaven. It is a view and a feeling like none other. Removed from all else, you feel so free, and like you have the world at your doorstep. Because you literally do have the world at your doorstep. You are on a small rock formation with the entire free world surrounding you. And all that for a 20 minute hike (approximately 10-20 minutes from town), too!

I remembered when I was in Missoula and we went on a couple hikes, and even got up to several thousand feet of elevation, but never had a view. The view was always blocked by trees or something. There were still some spectacular things to see on those hikes, like the waterfall and the stream the scenery in general, but I missed the view. Somehow, I thought mountains in Maine had a view. Now I know, this is exactly what I was thinking of when I stood on that mountain in Montana. This view. This is what I was imagining all mountains should be like.
This was as close to "home" as I had felt in years; the sense of familiarity, the sense of everything being "right"; of being connected and peaceful. This was nature at its best. I stood there with a huge smile on my face, feeling happy and even joyful for the first time in a long time. What is it about nature like that inspires such joy? It just is. That's the way nature is. I'd kid myself if I thought I could (comfortably) live somewhere where I could never get out in it. I don't like nature all the time; but there are times when I definitely need a good dose of it.

R spotted a nearby tree and started to attempt to climb it. He looked so cute doing it! It made us all laugh.

I asked if anyone had a camera phone to take pictures of such a beautiful sight. Nate did, so we started taking pictures. We got Rob in the tree, and of course the beautiful view. I walked over to the tree and thought about trying to climb it, but was too worried about something going wrong, so declined. Wandered around the top some more. Then decided to give the tree one more try and see if it was maybe somewhat feasible to get closer to it for a better picture. I didn't really intend to climb it.

Well, I don't know what happened, but oh my gosh! I put my hands on that tree, and somehow my feet knew what to do, my hands knew what to do, my brain went on autopilot, and I climbed that tree without even thinking! And it felt damn good!

There must have been some kind of handhold at the bottom... I stepped on it and I didn't even have to pull much weight to get to the next one. It just came naturally. It was like stairs, only much more fun! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I was in the tree. I kept going, until I got to a point where I could sit in the tree, near the top. I hadn't climbed a tree probably in ten years. I think Wildwood is the last place I can remember; we used to have a tree in our backyard of that house that I would climb, until it fell down one day, I think because of lightening.

So, I'm sitting in this tree, on top of a mountain, with all of the entire world's view in front of me. Looks like every tree that exists in the state of Maine and New Hampshire, almost! (Maybe not, but sure looked that way!) And I felt beautiful. It felt so... intuitive climbing that tree. My hands, my feet, became one with, to use a cheesy term, and melded with those branches. The branches felt like balm to my soul. They felt so right. They felt so comforting. It was so nice to grasp something solid and natural and real, instead of being in artificial universe such as indoors or even online all the time. Not that I don't like those things, but this was something that touched you at a much deeper level. I literally hugged the branch of the tree, and it felt, well, a lot better than you would imagine hugging such a rough, inanimate object would be - it was extremely comforting!
I had Nate take several pictures of me in the tree, and I hope they come out well. He has to figure out if he can get them from his phone to online.

I could have stayed up there forever, but it was getting time to go; it was near sunset and we didn't want to get down the mountain too late. I was again amazed at how EASY it was to get down. How NATURAL. How I didn't have to think. It felt like - usually every moment of my life I am flowing against the tide, fighting, fighting, fighting to stay afloat. Every moment I have the anxiety to battle, every moment feels like I'm treading water or walking backwards or just going against the tide, and it's exhausting and emotionally draining. But for these few minutes - these 10 or 15 minutes - things felt natural and not forced. They felt right. Even if it was for only a few minutes - something finally felt right. Maybe I can now have hope that some day more things will feel like this? At least now I know it is still possible, and that I have the capacity in me to feel joy, something that I haven't felt in a long time, but an emotion that I treasure when it comes. Maybe I can have more patience about getting to a place where I will be able to feel it more often, or at least getting to a place where it feels less like I am trudging against the tide every minute.

Maybe I should just spend more time in nature. :)

The last part of getting down was a bit difficult, I admit, and had me more than a little bit scared for a bit, but all was well in the end. We made out trek downwards in good spirits. We arrived back at the car at 7pm exactly, sunset. We headed on to Whole Foods for some dinner, dessert and grocery shopping. I had some delicious ribs and a creme brulee for dessert. Their creme brulees are out of this world. The eggs, cream, sugar, whatever else they use - puts me on cloud nine. Maybe not the most healthiest things in the world, but sometimes you need a bit of artificially induced happiness, especially when something of that high quality can come for only $3.50 (surprising at a place like Whole Foods.)

I stocked up on groceries, enjoying the wide variety and quality of the available goods....taking delight in every sensory offering that WF had on hand. Mmm, how lucky I am to get to shop there. I know I am lucky to be able to shop there, and it is the highlight of my week, for sure. I am so grateful for it every time, every minute of it. For having a place to go that I tolerate so well; for having good friends to share it with; of course, the amazing food; and the extremely friendly staff. I should send a letter to management perhaps. Every single time I have been there every single person who works there has gone out of their way to help me as much as possible, in as friendly a way as possible. They make you feel so welcome. I know, they're trying to get you to spend money, but if I'm going to spend money anyway, it's nice to do it in such a friendly atmosphere, with such friendly people, where the checker in the line I'm not even in will tell the checker of my line to pack my bags light, if I forget, without me saying anything, because he remembers me from before! Now that's customer service. That's making people feel welcome. You just have to appreciate people who are willing to go the extra mile like that. It may be small, but kindnesses like that and like the genuine pleasure that is interacting with all of their staff, making small chat at the register and so on, come so seldom in life, that they need to be appreciated when they come.

Full, satiated both emotionally and physically, we headed home after that.

I sat for an hour reliving everything in my mind, processing my emotions and feelings, trying to use them to strengthen myself for the challenges ahead.

I know that tomorrow I will find it hard to remember the sense of joy that I felt even briefly today. I know that I will return to my feelings of desperation and being scared, and of trying to fight against the current. So I write about today, in as much detail as possible, so that I may try to remember it as much as possible; to carry it in my heart to give me strength, and to know, that it is possible to feel like this again.

Today is what I was longing for when I was in Liberty those two months. Getting back to nature. I hadn't realized how satisfying that could be, how much I wanted and needed it, until I had it.

Of course, we were blessed by great weather conditions; sunny all day and in the high 40s and low 50s. And the fact that the place held so much sentimental value to me probably greatly contributed to my enjoyment of it. But still, I maintain. People need to be in touch with nature to feel more connected and calm in their daily lives. Nature, under the right conditions, can be enormously soothing.

Radio, Granola Bars, and Dealing with MCS

Some more writing that I did last week has just been published on Associated Content, and I will share it with you all in the hopes that you will enjoy it. I have not been able to do anything new this week.

The first article is about the power of radio, and talks about how good radio used to be - what happened? If you're a radio fan, you will enjoy this.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1368064/the_power_of_radio_how_to_make_listeners.html?cat=35

If you are looking for a healthy and tasty snack, perhaps one that you can give your kids and know they are getting something healthy without any added preservatives or junk, and something that actually tastes good, you might want to try Attune probiotic granola bars. That's right, it's a granola bar, that comes in all kinds of flavors, with probiotics added in. To learn more, please read:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1364936/attune_granola_chocolate_bars_healthy.html?cat=5

And finally, for those of you with multiple chemical sensitivity, people who know someone with it, or those who just want to know more about it, you won't want to miss "Ten Ways Not to Go Crazy with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity." I think they edited the title for length, but I like mine better.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1367834/multiple_chemical_sensitivity_how_to.html?cat=70

And that's all for now! Comments welcome.

Kate

Ten Reasons You Might be in Montana / and Vermont food writing

I have had two more articles published on Associated Content! Yay!

The first is called "The Top Ten Reasons You Might be in Missoula, Montana, and Five Reasons to Like It" and can be found at:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1359112/top_10_reasons_you_might_be_in_missoula.html?cat=16

It's a combination of my opinion on Missoula from both my first and second, radically different, visits there combined.

The second is about a crepe restaurant in Burlington, Vermont called The Skinny Pancake. If you like crepes, indulge your senses in this!

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1358982/the_skinny_pancake_in_burlington_vermont.html?cat=22

Tell me what you think and be sure to send to any friends in those areas!

Kate

"But You Don't Look Sick": The Spoon Theory

I just found this amazing essay that I have to share with you all.

It's probably the best essay I have yet read about dealing with disability on a daily basis.

Really makes you think.

Feel free to comment.

This is relevant not just to lupus as the author describes, but any chronic disability of any kind. Autism and MCS included. With any disability you have to think very carefully about your days and how you are going to plan around all of the obstacles that you have. You might do it well enough that you don't "look sick" to other people, but as soon as you're not able to do those things, then you fall apart. (And people say "What's wrong with you?" not realizing that you do,
indeed, have a disability since you usually can cope well enough to not seem disabled!)

People with any kind of disability only have enough "spoons" to do certain things per day, or any day, and have to think very carefully about the choices they make. They don't have the freedom, as healthy people do , to just go out and live, to do things without deciding, to do anything without first thinking of the consequences.

I wasn't expecting much when I clicked on this link but I was blown away.

I am sure anyone with a disability will be able to relate, and anyone who knows someone with a disability will hopefully come away with more understanding.

The link:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

The Internet: An Education About the World

I was thinking the other night how amazing the Internet can be - in the course of one night, just wandering around the Internet without any particular goal or direction in mind, I read a first person account of life during the war in Israel, found out that ripe bananas will turn blue when exposed to UV light, and read a discussion about if there should be an option for people who are intersex (don't identify with one gender) to not declare their gender on Facebook. Plus probably several other issues or topics that I can't remember. The diversity, breadth, and easy ability to learn in depth about almost any topic without really even trying on the Internet is amazing.

Food in Missoula, Montana

I wrote two more Associated Content articles on my favorite hangouts when I lived in Missoula (Montana). I am trying to publicize them because the more clicks you get, the more money you get! Normally I wouldn't even try because it seems like an impossible task, and you get a small amount of money upfront for writing them, but it told me I had 119 clicks on the Maine one and $2 from it, and like 8 clicks or something for the Bernice's one and 19 cents, and that really motivated me to find a way to increase the amount of people who see them. So I actually went on Livejournal, found relevant Maine and Montana communities, and posted the links on there. Since I have never used LiveJournal in my life and hate it, I think that was a pretty creative thing to do. Then I posted them on Facebook, and now I'm posting them here. Woohoo for publicity.

There are only three articles posted so far, but I have about six more waiting to be reviewed. I think it takes like a week. And then I can post the links to those, too.

And try not to obsess about it too much because if I worry too much about page views I will drive myself crazy and we all know I do a good enough job of that as it is.

Anyway. If you would like to read about a stellar bakery and natural food store in Missoula, or you would just like to read more of my writing :), please go here:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1303038/come_home_to_bernices_bakery_in_missoula.html?cat=22

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1300809/good_food_the_wonders_of_natural_food.html?cat=7

Comments are welcome especially from the one....one or two people from Missoula I know read this blog? And from everyone else.

I make myself so stressed out over nothing. I got excited about trying to write more and promote but then I got so stressed out over it. It's not worth getting stressed out over. It's writing. It should be fun. But I get stressed anyway.

Whatever. At least I got it done.

Kate

Meeting with Mark and Scott, pictures included

Lighting the candles! Who says you can't celebrate Hanukkah in January?

Me, Mark and Scott (my mom's first cousin and his partner)

Ok I cant think about today unless I write about today.
So, what happened today. Well, Mark and Scott came about 1:30. I was ready in time as I had gotten up early than expected since I was having trouble sleeping which hopefully will not be repeated tonight. I got some chocolates and peanut butter and chocolate pretzels together. When they came I put the groceries they got in the fridge. They got some apple sauce, soup, water, and some challah and rugelah. I have managed not to eat the rugelah and challah yet since it gave me such awful brain fog for 2 days after last time. I figured I wanted to be functional for today and tomorrow at least to get things I need done. What a joke that is! you call this functional? Maybe I should just eat it. But I won't. I'm sure it would be worse.

We started out for a walk and it was an absolutely beautiful, bright as hell sunny day. It was about 30 degrees with a light wind. It wasn't that cold. It wasn't warm either but it wasn't that cold. The sun was so bright the glare of it actually hurt my eyes in my apt. Quite a change for someone who hasn't even been out in daylight in a week; it was nice. I could even feel the sun on my face; it's been a very long time since the sun was strong enough to feel that.

We had a nice walk to the health food store. Unfortunately, they didn't want to go further than that, and I was just getting into it and enjoying talking to them. Eight minutes is a rather short walk. J had said we could use the conference room above the health food store; so we did, but it was too smelly, so I thought we were going to walk some more but she said we could actually sit in the health food store itself instead, since it was closed today. It was awfully nice of her to come from her home and open the store just for us. Very kind. One good thing about a small town, I guess. But I was a little bit frazzled by that because I thought the plan had been if the conference room didn't work to walk around for a bit. The store smelled worse than usual because of a new product they just got, and that was unfortunate. It was tolerable but not great.

They brought some salads from Hannaford. It made me immensely homesick. Reason being, besides just the name of Hannaford, that they got the chicken ceaser I used to get there. I used to go to the South Portland Hannaford behind the Maine Mall and Borders several times a week when I lived in Portland and was amazed that their salad bar and chicken were EXCELLENT. Not just edible or decent, but excellent. The quality of the salad, the dressing, and the chicken especially, all good. Grocery stores almost never have decent salad bars, and that was the only Hannaford I had been into that actually had a salad bar. When Mark said he would try to pick up some salads from Hannaford I thought they would be awful and had completely forgotten how much I used to enjoy their chicken ceasers until I saw it there lying on the table. It made me very sad and very home sick. When I tasted that unique blend of juicy chicken and just right ceaser dressing, I thought I was in South Portland again. I thought I was at Border's, I thought I was at Panera, I wanted that back. It felt so cruel to be sitting in the middle of nowhere New York and eating that South Portland ceaser salad.

And why the hell can't you get ceaser dressing as good as that in stores? Or can you? The little packets of ken's ceaser? never found anything similar in bottles, or maybe I just havent looked in the right places. Thats a joke of course, I havent LOOKED in a freaking normal grocery store in about a year because I havent been able to, but you know what I mean. If i knew it was available I would try to get it. Those Ken's packets are such a staple of salad bars. Think Shaw's might have had them to because I remember Jake getting them when we were kids and how good they were.

Not to mention the insanity of having a grocery store make a $4.99 salad better than one from a fancy Italian resteraunt, which I got last week when Eric came. Sheesh!! Yea Hannaford I'm glad you're such a good company but could you come, I dunno, a little closer?

***

So, I was glad for something decent to eat, but so mournful I couldn't really enjoy it. And I was a little frustrated about having to be in the health food store where I couldnt focus much or talk much. It was much harder to experience a feeling of connection when your brain has turned to so much mush that all you can do is respond with one word or one sentence replies, when you can't be excited, when you can't think about anything but the physical mechanism of talking.

As I said, I usually do okay in the health food store when I am chatting with M and J. But, they got some new products in Friday that have bothered me; not made it impossible to be in there or talk, but certainly made it a lot harder, and made it hard to think about anything but superficial conversation. And I was hoping to have something deeper than superficial conversation; of course I have to learn, I suppose, that casual meetings are supposed to be just that, casual. It's hard, I suppose, to be anything but casual with someone you haven't seen in several years and are meeting for two hours. But there is still a big difference between casual and connected; casual and energetic and spirited; and casual and blase, disconnected conversation (not on their part; on mine.)

But we have to make the best of what we have I suppose.
So we stayed for maybe an hour and then left and walked some more, which was good. I wonder if they could tell a difference between the level at which I was able to communicate inside and outside? Because I sure felt it. As soon as we stepped outside, I was able to relax, I was able to think, I was able to ask questions, I was able to give detailed answers, I was able to smile and laugh and in short be who I am. Inside I could barely answer questions with short, defeated replies. If I ever find out what causes that difference, specifically and chemically, I'll give whoever tells me a million bucks (although I'm sure to do the procedure it will already have cost a million bucks.)

So we walked to the graveyard, but it was too snowy. Still nice and brilliantly sunny, though.

Oh, this is funny. When we walked back, they wanted to go a different way, because they said there was a temple right off my street. I said, what are you talking about, there's not a temple off my street, wouldn't I have seen it? No, they said, if you go this way XYZ it turns into (my street) and there's a temple there. I didn't believe them and didn't really want to go that way but I gave it a try. It was right by where the movie store is at the first intersection of Main - I've been up that road a little ways but not very far at all and always in the dark. At first I thought we had to go down Main St to get there but we didnt. We just walked up that street a little, not very far, and lo and behold there was a HUGE synagogue standing there, basking in the sun. One of the more beautiful ones I've seen too. It had a huge engraving of a menorah on the front of the building! What do you know, trust someone from out of town to teach you about your own town, those New Yorkers, they know how to find everything. :)
They suggested I try to ask people there for help with grocery shopping or other needs, and to try to find a community there - which I think is a great idea. Who knows, I wonder, maybe if it has old wooden floors or concrete floors I could even go in, although it's doubtful. I'll look for a website after I write this.

So I still didnt know where we were, but then we saw the post office - so THAT'S where the post office is, it was huge as well and 5 min away - and I realized it was the end of our street in the opposite direction that I usually go into town. I remember John said the other side of our street hit into the post office and went into town. I had never tried it though, mostly because it was always dark and I dont feel like exploring new things in the dark.

I had gone down to the very EDGE of the street, but all I could see in the dark was another (at the time muddy, uninviting looking) street. Now I know the post office and synagogue is there. So we walked back (the back entrance of the synagogue, which I HAD walked past, is actually on our street). You don't know what it is from behind, though.

When we got back, we found that their car was blocked in and had a note on it that said this was a private parking spot. oops. So we knocked on J's door and S answered and said he would move it. It's actually good that S answered as he hung around for a while and I got to talk to him for a bit which I always enjoy. He said he did not know of the synagogue either, nor of the biking trail that I found online that's on Chestnut. I think it's on Chestnut? I'm actually confused because if I remember right, and I think I do, the map online said the biking trail was at the end of Chestnut. And Chestnut is the street we walked on FROM Main st to get here. Therefore, one would perhaps only have to walk up a small portion of Chestnut to get there, I wonder? I just looked on the website again. It is very frustrating. It does not tell you how to get there or where it is, other than there is an entrance point on Chestnut. That is a huge street. Why aren't they more specific? For all I know it could be on the side of Chestnut that runs opposite to Main St, not the part the borders our street. I emailed them to ask. It would be really, really nice to have somewhere good to walk. Somewhere with no exhaust fumes, no uphills (we're assuming it's flat here, i guess) and that doesn't end after 5 minutes!

So, anyway. This is getting on too long. S was on the porch with us. I gave everyone chocolates and chocolate covered pretzels. Then we lit the menorah! The menorah was my idea. Yes, I know Hanukkah is over. But it doesn't matter. One of the first things I thought about when I thought about coming here after ya all know all the basics and details, was that Mark and Scott lived in NYC, and how much fun it would be to see them again after 5 yrs or so of not seeing them. The second thing I thought about was how it would be the most meaningful thing in the world to get to light the Hanukkah candles with then, to do such a symbolic and enjoyable thing with family who actually cared about it. My family stopped lighting Hanukkah candles years ago, for the most part. I didn't get to do in college (seeing them lit at Hillel, alone, really wasn't the same) and last Hanukkah I think I was in New Hampshire.
So, I got them to bring a menorah, and find four candles. The rest of their candles were in NYC but they had four, so we made that do. They were pretty candles, too. And we lit the menorah and said the prayer, and told Stephen about what it meant.
And then the wind blew the candles out, so we lit them again. And again. And again. (Without saying the prayer.) Kind of defeats the message of resillience and strength, lol. No, but it was pretty, and I liked it. I was excited to light them. They left the menorah with me so I could light them again, which was nice. And they left. They took a picture of me and S took a picture of the three of us with his cell phone camera before they left.
Stephen and I stayed on the porch and talked for a while after they left. That was nice. I liked that. I gave him a rugelah.
Which I still want but shouldn't have. He liked it.
He just got into City College in NYC and was happy about that.
I would ask him to take a walk sometime or something but not sure what his schedule is like or if he would even want to. Or if we'd have enough to talk about. Probably, though. He has a good personality and generally interesting things to say.

So, I did achieve my goal of lighting candles with (interested) Jewish family. That was good. But yeah the visit was kind of anticlimatic and I had too high expectations. But overall it was good to do, just to get out in the sun for a while and have some social interaction, and have some food. And to find the temple. Yeah. I gotta google that.
Update: Googled. No website. Found phone number. Have no idea when one should call a synagogue ie when people are there. Have to remember to call them.

So, it was nice to see them, as the last time was probably either Passover or that get together at Rosalie's that I hated. I don't know what the occasion was. Mark said he thought the last time was Grandma's 75th birthday which I have no recollection of so that is probably what it was.
The reason I hated it was I was seeing all these people from Passover I hadnt seen in years, and I was extremely, deeply, completely dissapointed when I didn't manage to have a meaningful conversation with a single one of them.

After that I learned a lesson about not expecting to have meaningful conversations with 98% of the population in 98% of circumstances. Not that it was any of their faults or that they're shallow people; it's just, you can't have meaningful conversation at parties or in short conversations. You have to do small talk. I hate it.

Anyway. It was good to see them.

Kate